nothing

有时候我们都太专注于追求一样不属于我们的

尤其是爱情

很多很多东西根本不是我们的

我们却还硬赖着脸皮说是我们的

到后来才发现到自己的愚蠢

可是你越要逃，它却一直找你麻烦

爱情还是要讲爱，讲心的

没有就是没有了

我，陈佳芮还是比较想加入单身行列...

多过顺其自然，等待爱情这样的东西

OVER

过去了

不要再回忆了

伤心的干嘛要想

心痛的干嘛要回忆

错过的干嘛要追回来

我的生活总让人摆布

可是那又能怎样

我还是要跟着

因为我是陈佳芮

我不是任何一个人

最终我还是会一个人。

AHAHAAHHAHA!!

AHA!!
tomorrow is my last exam in taylor's college!!
hahahaha!!
tomorrow is chemistry exam..
after that relax!!!!!!!
shopping !!
nonono..
i wanna change my hair style first before shopping..
before that have to stay at home><
too ugly d..
keep fit..!!!
this is necessary!!
one more...continue to watch one piece!!!
arg...
i haven't watch one piece today><
cannot watch..
not yet prepare well for chemistry exam><
many things to do after exam..
gonna crazy...
hahhahah!!
yahhhhooooooooo!!~

Why Now?

Why Now?
Why sick now?
why??
i still got 2 days...
and the 2 most important subjects..
bio and chemistry
tell me why..
GO AWAY!!!!
i don't want to sick now..
and why i'm so emo?
is it means that if exams over..i will leave?
is it because of this reason?
haiz..
hope everything will be fine..
god bless me..=)

thank you

听着selina的爱我的每个人
一边整理要带回去的书
突然很感伤
这一年
不是没有感情的
在这里美好的，不愉快的我都会记得
因为这些都对我很重要
我快离开了
你们会想我的吧
人相聚了，总要分开
谢谢你们
你们真的很棒
表面上在凶，在生气
可是你们心里总是在关心着对方
你们真的是独一无二
我好爱你们
怎么面对那18号19号？
我真的不知道
我会哭吗？
不可以哭对吧=)
很开心能认识你们
能跟你们渡过这一年真的很棒
时间真的不等人
时间真的很短

WOOHOOOO!!!

woohoooooooooo!!!
i feel like screeming!!!
no more physics in my life!!!!!!!!
hahhahah!!
physics OVER!!!
if i didnt retake SAM= =
it is so cool!!
i can't believe that..!!
i did it!!!
no more physics in my life!!
ahahaha!!

Switch On EXAM Mood!!!

please switch on exam mood!!!
i feel so relax....!!
this is my first time ..
OH NO!!!!
this is my final exam...
i'm here typing my blog...
just now ESL, tml physics..
JIA RUEY..
please lar..
exam is not kiding..
the result is for you to apply university..
no joking whey!!
argggggg...!!!
first time no nervous..><
i ate too much of panadol??
or essence of chicken??
or red bull??
or do too much exercises??
i knew that the last one is impossible><
but maybe it possible??><

Stop Studying Exam??

and

what should i do??
today is the last day of october
tomorrow is my final exam for SAM course..
i feel so tired..
seriously..i need holiday..
i feel that my brain is twisting..
i always listen to the song name "thank you those who love me"
from selina..
she is strong!!
she met an accident..
she can survive..
why i can't??!?
just only exam!!
i can survive in exam!!
>...<
seriously..i need rest..
but DO NO STOP STUDYING EXAM!!!

Miracle

Will miracle happen in our life?

although you pray hard..

actually miracle will not happen in our life...

our result or anything else is depend on us..

how hardworking we were..how the result will be..

but i still hope there is a miracle in my hand..

can make my dreams come true..

MIRACLE..

please come in front of me

and tell me that you're the miracle

for me..

I need REST!!

what should i do..
i feel like wanna give up physics..
but i know i can't..
my brain like trafic jam..
all stuck together..><
sorry papa and mama
i already try my best to study physics..
but the distance between us still far away
sorry fong shelhiel...
i know u love physics..
and u hope i can love him too
but i didn't fall in love with him..
our connections(physics and me) are different..= =
i want rest..
i need rest..
i do not want to think anything right now..
i want beach!!
sea water can takes all the bad things away from me..
and all the sad things..
i want rest and i want BEACH!!

Oh my World

这几个月来
我似乎已经成醉在自己的世界了
似乎不再接受第2个人来到我的世界
我喜欢这样
世界充满自己的想法
不被任何人影响
就在这时候
我开始喜欢幻想
其实一直以来都爱
可是现在更爱了
未来充满了去多未知数
让我一一去解开
好兴奋哦
嘿嘿
这几个月来
没有爱人，没有被爱
这样的感觉还不错
可是有一点寂寞><
有心事的时候不知道要找谁倾诉
结果是找我家可爱的爸爸=)
爸爸说过如果我交了男朋友
就不会粘他了吧
听到的时候好难过><
爸爸妈妈我会一直粘你们的啦，放心
自己的世界没有人能明白
只有那个未来的人才会明白
在呆多几年在自己的世界吧
不想要自己的世界被其他人牵着

feeling vs love

feeling and love...
are they same?
logically they are different right>?<
one got feeling...but cannot together
one got love..but impossible to together
hope everything will go away as fast as possible...
i do not want this kind of thing stay in my body,my blood and my heart until i enter uni..
i wanna study!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<[screaming...><!!]
love is sucks!!!feeling is sucks!!
and u're sucks!!!!
continue...study~they're just my friends~

生活

突然觉得单身很快乐，今天mr.chai也有讲到这一点。他说：“如果不能接受两个人的生活就不要有对象”我很赞同这一点。不相爱的两个人在一起还是痛苦的，何必把自己往框框里推，这只会把两个人的生活框住。听着danny wright的歌打下这篇blog。
我相信joee很赞同我这一点，就是在我们享受世界的时候，我们还是不希望有人来把我们的快乐带走。我所谓的有人就是那些男士们。他们无法让我们自由，他们大多都还是不相信我们女生。这让我们女生完全得不到自由不是吗？如果你们男生相信我们女生就让我们多一点空间~在我还没有完全
享受人生之前，我不会恋爱~嘻嘻
因为你们男人，女人不要恋爱！！
一个人简简单单地生活不是很好吗~我要去旅行，我要去度假，我要去做善事，我要做好多东西！
生活应该是这样的不是吗？被一些东西捆着，这哪里算是生活了阿？？

boooooooommmmmmmmmmm!!!

just emo...maybe too tired..~
everything will be alright..~
i'm so lazy~i dono why...i'm so blur today><
i do not need anything from you..
u got her...i need to only thing..
energy..~
i feel so tiring in this game...stupid game..~
if this continue...the game will not end until we die~
u cannot be replaced..but someone can be better than you much much more!!
if i can't meet such a guy..i'll be single!!
i don't care....
emo is such a scary thing~
i need a bed and sleep~
haiz....in college now><
good luck all SAM students><
good luck Jia Ruey!!

你 文

你跟她好好的
为什么还要把我拉进去？
我是放不下你
所以我讨厌你
我恨你！！
我看到你跟他的照片
你跟他的一切
却自己安慰自己说一切都过去了
那你应该不知道我心里哭
却不敢哭出来
我还能用什么身份来面对你？
我伤害你
更耻的事情我伤害我爱的人
我不知道你想什么
我不知道你在做什么
我参与的是过去的你
却不是现在的你，也不是未来的你
之前我能感觉到你的不安
jojo不见，你进院
这我不懂为什么
我真的不懂
现在他在你身边
那我应该不用担心了吧
我之前是对你做了很过分的事情
你不能原谅我是应该的
你的心意我收到了
我会珍惜之前那一段感情
你送我的东西
我全部都留着
他们都在等他的主人回来
我想我要让他们失望了
小文文还是需要你的吧
可是他却无法再回到你身边了
我们该画句号了吧
逗号太久也是会累的
你也累了吧
我追你追累了
我吵也吵累了
我也哭累了
句号了吧~
不会忘记你
一直都是
我和你
。

文..记得要幸福，要懂得照顾自己

oh my god..

i can't finish all the chapters of all subjects..i'm gono crazy and sitting here typing my feeling><
i really dono who am i....y i'm here taking SAM exams..and study until like shit
dad...sorry about that..i dono why...all my mood..all my concentration go here and there...
they are not with me>n<]
Shelhiel ...teach me UNDERSTANDING!!!!
andy..u are smart student rite?teach me physics..>n<
study study study study!!chemistry...i'm coming....Mr. Yap./..u wait...dun look down any one of G8!!
fighting!!

facebook

i hate facebook right now...
it makes me can;t pay concentration on my study...
i hope to deactivate it..
but i can't...
i have many relation to my friends and family members
and the most important thing..i need photos..><
study study study study!!!

可爱的你们

来到这里
我有很多不适应的地方
来到这里我常常哭泣
来到这里我常常想家
是你们让我觉得这里多么美好
是你们让我感觉到了温暖
你们的言语
你们的关心
你们的呵护
真的很棒
之前回家过sem1的break
离开这里前的聚餐
我都快哭了
你们舍不得的语气
其实是我舍不得吧~
生日，你们为我庆祝
帮我唱生日歌
虽然爸妈缺席
但你们真的让我感觉很温暖
你们也有恶毒的时候
常常欺负我
可是你们好可爱
我有被虐症
哈哈哈哈哈哈！！
可爱的你们让我如何离开这里
我还有不到3个月的时间就要离开这里了
离开你们
你们每个星期的聚餐也不再有我了
短短的一年，过了3/4了
3个月后，我该怎么离开？？
真的要偷跑？？
如果全部聚在一起送我的话
我怕我会哭出来
我怕我会受不了
我现在都快哭了><
我真的好爱你们

水瓶不见了

原本今天很开心的
可是到最后水瓶不见了,我很难过
我现在什么也不想做
我好累><
感觉我失去了关于他的东西
我就没有动力
感觉很奇怪
我现在走到哪里都看不到他
我在找他的时候
我多希望他出现在我面前
我真的很难过
现在什么也做不了
吃不下
好难过

your birthday

i can't post it on facebook
i can't phone u and sing to you
i can't write a long long message for you
this is what i done last year
today and in d future i can't do this anymore

i will never forget your birthday
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
i sing here for you
i hope u will read my blog all the time...
because everything here is for you
so sad right....
i can feel my sadness in my dream...
because i miss you

dreams

在上道德课的时候,我跟joee就聊到要去欧洲国家
下课，风很大~
啊啊啊！！
两个人像疯人这样跑
真的很想去欧洲国家
一个人也好，跟好朋友也好
爸爸妈妈也好
应该有不同的感受
在路边的餐馆喝着下午茶~看看小说~
有时候可以起着脚踏车到处去
然后拍拍照~
这样的感觉真的很棒
joee!!我一定要带你去玩一次！！
在马来西亚也好，新加坡还是泰国
附近附近也好！！我带你去！！！
好想去外国读书
或许在那里自己会被歧视
或许在那里会想家
我好想试一试~
在一个没有自己朋友，
家人的地方我该怎么生存
可是我还是觉得我的未来有无限的可能
我想我的未来上天已经决定了的
只是时机未到，无法告诉我们而已
joee,我们去旅行！！

headache

study study study and study
green ambassador: t-shirt
wednesday: chemistry proposal
thursday: biology class test
friday: chemistry class test
now...pening pening d...~
very stress right now..>n<
i dono how to solve my problem!!wait time to pass??
i can't do this
tml i have to wake up earlier to complete my homework!!
so sad!!!
in this raya vacation, i have to study physics, math and esl
if not..these subjects will die until very teruk!!
i wan go beach...i wan beach...
i wanna cry in front of the sea!!
please..who can achieve my dream right now?
i need someone to help me!!

home

Finally i can go home..
actually i can't go home during this raya vacation...
i miss my dog..my house..and the ppl in the house
although they want me stay at home to study whole days and nights
i don;t mind
i wan to be home..this is d main thing
i can't wait anymore..
now..birthday is nothing...
home is the best thing....
-HOME SWEET HOME-

突然好感伤

不懂为什么突然之间好难过
或许又是压力搞的鬼
好想回家
好想回到一个有海边的地方
回到一个属于我们的海边
我不能再依赖你
我必须独立，让自己的生活多姿多彩
可是还是有那么一点点地难过
我一直很保护女生
因为我知道女生很脆弱，就像我
我知道女生需要被保护
因为我自己也感受得到那种渴望保护，却得不到的感受
我不想我身边的朋友也那么痛苦，跟我一样
我一直告诉别人我是打不死的蟑螂
我的确是！！
怎样都会有办法让我活下来
好想家
我已经快忘记家里的味道
好想爸妈
好想kiddy, amigo, jinggels
jinggels病了，可是我却帮不了她
好想回家
可是不能回对吧~
加油！！让自己活着！！

你

照顾好身体，我会想你的
我不在你身边了
陪伴你的人也不再是我
你更要好好照顾你自己
我不想她因为你的离去而难过
她的生活将会很孤单
不管我多忙
我还是很爱你
这个我非常清楚
我现在还是一样
找一个人来淡忘对你的感情
我知道这样对他很不公平
所以到现在我还没找到
很可笑吧
我不懂为什么你能那么快找一个新的
或许是我伤你太重了
可是你的恋爱期好像没有停止过
如果时间可以重来
我不会骗自己放下你
欺骗自己的感情真的很痛苦
我知道她可以给你你想要的一切
我不能
所以我更希望你们能好好地在一起
你要好好地照顾自己
我还是一样地爱你
因为我一直把你当作我的初恋
不管你是不是真的爱过我
不管你的改变有多快
不管现在在你身边的已经不是我
我还是一样
只对你一个，安
你是我遇过最好的
她很幸福，因为有你

生日

大家都为我的生日烦恼
从来没有那么多人要我庆祝
我的生日一向来简简单单
去年的生日是最难忘的
今年的会不会更难忘呢？
18岁生日，遇到农历7月半
大家要忙拜拜
有些没有空
原本要去吃大餐的，结果延迟了
爸爸妈妈原本也要来的，也延迟了
在他们讨论的时候，我很难过
我不希望我的生日让大家那么为难
可是还是很开心，很感动
他们愿意在我生日那天帮我庆祝
真的很感动
他们愿意为我破费
我只是一个外人，朋友的女儿
他们却把我看成他们的一份子
真的很感动
谢谢你们
还有谢谢爸爸妈妈愿意到那么远来帮我庆祝

childish

because of my childish..i lost everything i want
the happiness that i could not reach..
first love is the most wonderful
first love is unforgettable
eveybody has only one first love,,,cannot be more
i gave her my first love...that cannot be replaced
i lost everything...bacause i don't know how to appreciate
what she did for me...i can't forget in my life
she has another lover that can give her everything
i think i should forget the feeling between us
because i love u..

the memories are sweet,,,
because that only both of us,..
i think i still need u in my whole life,,
but we can't
actually is i can't..only me..
both of u so sweet and lovely..
hope that both of you will stay long and nice

STACEY, I LOVE YOU

“Stacey, wake up! Is time to work” said by Jason while he kisses Stacey who sleeps beside him. They are so sweet and lovely like two little birds fly and sing together all the time. They go to work together and they do all the things like other young couples. Yet, they less communicate, they express their feeling through the dark brown eyes with strong love. They know each other names carve in their heart that cannot be erasing.

On the 2^nd anniversary of their first meet, Stacey engages to Jason for marriage. “Are they mad? They marry to someone who met two years ago” wondered by everybody. They ignore and keep their plans going. Besides preparing their wedding, they start to create memories days and nights. They reach the hill when the sun glowing orange. Stacey reads poets and they talk about their memories. Their first meet, first date, first kiss and first night. Everything is going perfectly but their life transforms after the medical report comes out. It is about Stacey. Bone cancer in her body already spread to other organs such as heart and lungs, and has only six months lifespan.

Stacey becomes weaker as the day passed by. She has difficulty in walking, her body very pain as the tumors compress the surrounding nerve and other symptoms. It is very challenging for her to go on. He takes good care of her and tries to be with her all the time after work. Now, he is like a different person, a changed man. He becomes responsible, intelligence and caring, a sincere smile is hanging on his face often. Although he knows that it is too late to pray for a hope, but he does so. The days passed one by one with lightning speed. Yet, they have to face the separation between heaven and man’s world.

A day before the estimated date by doctor, they step into the church with happiness and receive all the best wishes. Stacey is beautiful, Jason is smart and their wedding is grant. Their marriage is a testimony in front of god. At the moment, Stacey feels that the line of sight becomes very blur and she holds Jason’s hand tightly. “Jason, I love you forever” said by Stacey with happiness on her face. He hugs her and kisses her as response. A silent tear running down from the corner of her eyes and breathe one’s last. He knows her soul will be with him forever. Stacey, I love you too.

Wrote by Janet Tang Jia Ruey

28/7/11

JOJO

我的心情还是平复不了
jojo你跑到哪了？？
jojo~
我一看到安的信息
你知道我的眼泪就这样冲下来
你跑到哪里去了？
可不可以找方法告诉安
我相信你是平安的！！
jojo~
快点回家！！
你的家人很担心你
我这个跟家人这个称号擦肩而过的人都为你担心了
我好想知道你在哪？
你告诉我好不好><

我们曾经一起玩闹
爱玩粗鲁的你
不爱吃狗粮的你
因为吃了火龙果，尿尿都变红色的你
真得让我怎么也忘不了
你的味道，触摸你的感觉
我真的忘不了
当时的你不是很欢迎我
你都不欢迎陌生人的
到最后还是跟你很友好
跟你玩追逐，你跑到很累还是跑
你怕打雷，鞭炮
最近都在下雨不是吗？
你跑到哪了？
你有皮肤病，需要打针的
你跑到哪里了！！
告诉我好不好><

music

来到这里后
不断地听现代歌
是为了跟上他们的脚步
可是过了那么多个月
我也会一些些了
我现在也发现我听古典乐是那么地自在
那么地快乐
没有压力，完全投入在美妙的音乐
smooth jazz music with saxophone, centuries songs!!!
这些都太棒了
我喜欢这些多过现代的歌
那些歌好吵><有时真的受不了
他说我变了，变得喜欢这些吵吵的歌了
其实我并没有，只是为了跟上他们
我喜欢的是古典乐！！！！
我喜欢violin, piano, saxophone.....
现代歌其实也有好听的，可是我就不是很喜欢啊
最后不管怎样都是选择自己最爱的那个！！

未来

走过我们曾经走过的路..
或许你该带着他走回我们走过的路
或许在某个地方,你还可以体会我们错过的
不管是景点,还是感觉
而我,往前看了
我感觉我失去好多好多
我感觉以前我的生活除了你,好像什么也没有
现在让我怪空虚的
音乐的陪伴,让我走完接下来的路
微笑不只是让自己开心
也是暗藏着自己的悲伤
成功的人不能让别人看透自己
除了那个能陪伴你一辈子的人
想到自己想去的大学
心跳还是那么快,那么兴奋
接下来的路我真的不知道要怎么走
感觉我迷失方向了
感觉我一直在做不可能的努力
或许根本没有努力
为了未来加油
真的好希望一切在我的安排下走到最后
希望一切能顺顺利利
不管在恋爱,在学业,在事业
我都希望自己是成功的

微笑真的能让一个人开心
心情上好或坏,是自己可以控制的
不管之前脾气有多坏,脸又多臭
接下来都靠微笑来面对
因为当别人看到你的微笑
他们也会跟着笑
在心情烦躁的时候
试着笑笑吧

university of utrecht

我听到我的心跳
越来越快！！
很大很大声
这是在我看到这间大学的video
是因为这是我的梦想么？
所以我才会这样

世界是美好的

我自我安慰的能力实在是好啊
因为某种原因让我很伤心
现在好多了
即使你选择留，我还是走
外面的世界那么美好，不走是笨蛋
未来那么美好，不走真的很傻
我们的国家只是一粒小小的番薯
不到一个月就可以走完的国家
难道要花一辈子的时间在这里？
我们这里的读书风气那么差，效率那么差
为什么不到别的地方看看？
把那里的风气带回来，影响身边的人
慢慢全部人就会跟着更改过来
那些觉得傻的人，就叫他们去死吧
这里的人都很幼稚
人家小事化无，我们这里小事化大
我们20几的人去到那里可能会被人家笑说是十几岁的小孩
外面还有很大的世界等着我们去看，等着我们去感受
我们太幸福了，什么都有的缘故
让我们都长不大，无法独立
是时候该长大了！！

emo ing..

a bit emo...
and doing maths now
exam coming next week...
i have to prepare well!!><
but this mood...sien lar!!!

i'm very sad right now...
i need a shoulder to let me cry...
i think i can't afford the sadness and stress..
i need someone that can be with me...
i need someone that i can trust

now i'm alone..
face everything alone..
i want to share my happiness and sadness with someone..
i do not want to face everything alone...
i need you!!

in class, i can guffaw, make funny things..
but in home, like transform to another person..
i feel so sad!!
here...
is the only place for me to cry...

i cant cry in the phone with my parents..
i cant cry in front of my friends and uncle...
i only can cry here...
i'm emo person..
emo person is chasing her dreams...
fighting!!!~

女人

女人怎样都是口是心非
因为他们要从男人那里得到自己想要的答案
可是男人就偏偏不给
他们因为这样伤透了心

女人真的都是口是心非
明明想要留下,却一直跟男人说要走
结果因为女人的无理取闹
男人生气了

女人都是口是心非
明明想要他回来,却什么都做不到
明明想忘记他,却什么都记得很清楚
是怎样!!

口是心非
看着别人幸福
看着别的女生有他爱的男人潜着
自己却安慰着自己说根本不需要这些

我就是口是心非
陈佳芮,我看不起你
因为你的心还有他
因为这样,你一点也不幸福!!
你活在别人的影子里!!
我讨厌这样的你!!
陈佳芮,你真的让我很失望!!

what is love?

i lost my happiness...
i threw it away myself!!
what the hell!!
but everything is too late for me to get back

my friend is a gay..
he waits the other guy for a few years..
he thought he left him is good for him..
but he doesn't know..
after he left him, that guy use many ways to commit suicide
but failed!!
in this few years, the other guy tried his best to get back him...
he let his parents to accept it...
'he is a gay!!'
their ending is good: they together!!!!
because of the true love

how about me??
i lost him..
he doesn't want me anymore...
i can't give him what he wants..
i lost him...
got a new girl around him everyday...
not me.....
i hope to ...
but ....everything too late!!!

keep going..right?

i think i'm in the right way..
im moving on to my dream...
actually i'm not confidence to achieve my dream..
but i know if i keep going..i can do it!!

face every challenging parts
enjoy it...
i think the challenging parts are the most important process before success
if u face it...thats mean ...u..win!!

daddy said: just move on...
if u lose,,,is ok..at least u did your best..
yes...but i did not do my best for every tests before..
never...!!

the coming exams...i will prepare well!!
daddy..mummy..i'll get a perfect result!!
i will try all my best!!
i promise..!!
my dream, my future!!i'll control it and not others control ME

Last Kiss

24^th of December 2009, a day before Christmas, an accident happened in New York City. A tall and strong guy was wearing a white shirt with many red spots and bloody smell plodded on the busy street. Strangers busied to celebrate Christmas with their beloved one, vehicles dashed here and there but he was alone. The moon shined brightly on him. A shiny tear was running down from his dark brown eyes. At the same time, first snow was falling down. Everybody was cheering for the first snow, but not him. He tried hard to walk away from the crowded. Suddenly, he stopped in front of the wedding shop and stared at the wedding dress. Everything came to the place of the accident……

2 a.m. on 24^th of December, a red and sporty car darted on the dark and narrow road. ‘Brayden, please slower down your speed!’ warned by Alazne, Brayden’s girlfriend with ominous feeling but this warning did not make sense to him. He continued to show off with his driving technique and his branded sport car. Suddenly, the car lost control and stroke to the steep cliff. He woke up with pains but this was not important anymore. He searched his girlfriend by shouting her name, Alazne. He hugged her and used his shirt to dress the wound but the blood still bubbling out like fountain. He gazed at the dark, cruel sky and sobbed. He prayed for his girlfriend because they are going to step into the church together, get best wishes from their relatives and friends and bless from god soon. At that time, Alazne bend her brows and breathe one’s last.

The days following that, Brayden with a gaunt face appeared in the pub. Whisky poured into his mouth non-stop. The number of bar girls kept increasing around him from the first day he stepped into the pub. Although he knew that this could not save her from heaven. Sometimes he guffawed, sometimes he sobbed. He felt guilty on her and her family. His life degenerated and he wanted to commit suicide by cutting his throat. This is the only way to get back his girlfriend, he thought. However, everything he planned could not success. His parents and Alazne’s parents came forward to give advises but his terrible life still kept going.

On the day they planned to marry, he went to the place of the accident. He turned off his car engine and gazed the view in front of him. He saw Alazne chased him all around in the university, he made a surprise birthday party for her, they went vacation to Norway, Paris, Roman and others countries, and they dated under the billions of stars. He remembered every sentences and words from Alazne. They planned their wedding, they discussed about their future, they decided to have two children, and they talked about vacation after they resigned. Everything so perfect but the plans could not continue anymore.

‘Yieeeeeeeeeeeeee…..!!!!’ a loud sound caught Brayden backed to the reality. The sound was from the break of the lorry in front of him. He tried to get out from the car, but it was too late. At that time, he saw his lovely girlfriend with a bashful smile and she was wearing an angel clothes with feathers. She was so gorgeous. ‘Come with me, Brayden’ she said while she was pulling his hand. He nodded his head while he looked into her eyes and he felt that he was getting lost in her eyes. Finally, they kissed. This kiss stayed long and beautiful. This was the thing he waited for a long period and he will not going away from her anymore, he promised.

Wrote by Tang Jia Ruey

17/7/2011

so touching..

'The freedom writters diary'
is a nice movie...
G8 used 3 periods to watch it...
very very nice~
in the movie, Ms. G is a great teacher..
she is new but she is amazing!!
although her husband divorced with her because of her job..
but she keeps moving with her students..

just now on phone with my mom..
she said...
' you have a dream..work harder to success it'
i know that my dad got enough money for me to continue my education
but this is a big step for me to success
although it is so tough..
i should try it out!!!!
in this 'war', i have to win...for my life...
no lose...no regret..!!

at least i got a dream...

不可能

看到标题一定觉得我又要写负面的东西了
你们错了
我要写好的！！哈哈哈！！

我想说
要我忘记他，不可能
要我不爱他，不可能

他，我收在心底
他，我选择放下

我选择出国是因为未来
如果他愿意要我，我会留下
可是我知道不可能，所以决定出国了

其实自己伤心还是开心是自己选择的
我想要开心读书，专心上课
才会放下吧
现在我的思想跟之前比起来好多了

如果我要负面想，我还是可以想很多
可是人还是要开心的嘛
刚刚我看到报道，现在心脏病的年轻人越来越多
就是因为压力，伤心，疲劳

所以我选择压力，开心，健康的读书方式=）
加油！！

p.s：放下不代表不爱，放下是因为你更爱他！！
自私地拥有不代表爱，只有痛苦

......

gonna be crazy...
why my body choose this time to sick..
fever fever fever!!i hate fever...
headache..
sleepy..

so many things need to complete!!!
arg!!!
i hate viruses!!!
most of my frens are sick...
i think i'm the most terrible now...

arh!!!!!!!gona be crazy!!!

wohoo!!!!!!
ok...i know that i'm emotional...
two hours ago..i'm very emo...because of my ex...

hahahahha~~
but now....i'm happy until....???
my dad agreed!!!!
he let me to go netherland!!and study there
so happy man!!

unversity of utrecht is my dream...
i feel that i will get it...!!hahhaha...[only feeling= =]
im not sure they need dutch language or not..
if they need....
my dad also agreed to send me there for 1 year course[dutch language=)]

crazy lar!!!!!!
hahhahahhha!!!


----------------------stop!!stop!!stop!!---------------------

my result must be 90% above....
if i got 90% above
dono they wan me or not...
haiz..!!
nvm!!i dun care!!
if you have a will, u have a way!!
i'll let them accpet me!!
hahahhahahhahha!!!
because i'm very cute..right ??hahhaha!!

原理

刺猬的原理我不必教你吧
你的朋友对你如宝贝
即使教你了，你也不会理解

真的不想恨你
可是我还没有勇气去选择宽恕
可是我现在应该选择宽恕

因为canon in d...
因为你和他
因为我的未来

放手...是最好的吧！！
加油！！

last kiss

this is a name of a song..
last kiss from pearl jam
it was talking about a car accident
the guy was driving the car and his girlfriend was sitting beside him
his girlfriend died in the accident

after the accident..
the poor girl wanted the guy hold her for her a while
and they kissed..
that was their last kiss in their life...

teacher wan us to write something about this
what should i write?
write u met an accident ?
write u lost memory..?

u don't know
when teacher discussed this, i'm so sad!!i wanna cry that time
u don't know
that time i'm thinking all about u..
u don't know
when your friend texted me ..i'm so sad

u got a such best friend..
but me...
i'm so helpless
the essay teacher called us to write is one part of the exam
congratz,,i really don't know what to write..
maybe i write until half way..i'll cry non-stop..

evrything from now...
u are just something.....undescrirable
maybe just act as don't know..like u

i'll keep everything inside and act normal in front of everybody..
include u...
i think this is wad u want..

我的心声

我未完成的事

換掉我身上的舊電池

感情的期限已到此為止
放心這並不是什麼末日
世界還是老樣子

愛上你該愛上的女子
全心全意守護她一輩子
到達我到達不了的位置
去完成我未完成的事

時間就像一把鑰匙
鎖住兩個人的癡
心痛一下子也好過勉強
在一起的自私

相愛是兩個人美好的旅行
淚水和笑聲都盡收眼底
謝謝你給的愛
閃耀我單薄的生命
成長需要一些曾經
分手是兩個人各自的修行
傷心時練習逆著風前進
就算沒了緣分
不代表沒愛的能力
放手是因為我真的愛過你

i hate u!!!

u break my heart againn and again
i dono how sweet between of u and her
but i really hate to see everything about u!!!
i hate u!!!

espeacially when i saw your facebook...
i hate u..
can u dissapear in this world?
can u??!?

nvm..i gona leave..
leave this stupid place
before i leave...
i'll send u a message..
only 3 words: i hate u!!

lazy..

actually today i wanna go to college to do some math revisions
because of the bersih thing near college..
so i can't go>,,<
so scary...><

stay at home very very very lazy...
i felt my bed calling me whole day
the computer pulling me whole day....
and my brain try to stop working.....
arhhhhhh!!!!!!
although i see something about my dream~
my brain did not work!!
arhhhh!!!!

how how how???
i slept for many hours...
i watched movies many many hours..
i stared at the study table many many many hours...
damage!!!how can it be!!!!!!

nevermind!!take it easy..~
after rest..study study study!!![now!!]
fighting!!!
90% is not easy for me!!
work harder!!!!!
university of utrecht !!!!i'm coming!!
i know when i step in the door of that uni...
i will be very proud and happy...
hahahha...maybe i'll laugh whole day???
=) hope so...hope that day will appear in my life
good luck..jia ruey!!

someone..important

actually there are many ppl important
parents, relatives, teachers, friends...
they always be with me..
support me...

daddy and mummy..
thank you for your support
and let me study in a good college..
what i decided..both of u will fully support..
thank you!!

brothers and sister..
3 of u are my idols..
try to learn something for u...
i wan to be a doctor/vet..
and study in university of utrecht
i'll reach my goal
like u all..can choose the work u like

teachers in taylor's college
thank you for giving us stress
thank you ms.lee(my previous piano teacher)
she is in netherland now...
this few days i chat with her...
she said: if u have a will, u have a way!!
yeah!!i like this very much!!
i can do it!!!

friends..
thank you shi cheng for waking me up everyday
when i feel sleepy..u are there chat with me
thank you fong shelhiel that teaching me study skills
no memorising!!only understanding!!hahaha!!
i got it after u taught me..
friends in taylor's college..
u guys are so good and kind..
teach me a lot of things
teach me how to solve questions and problems
although u guys know that i'm stupid

all of u are so nice and good!!!
i'll work harder!!!to get into UNIVERSITY OF UTRECHT
AND MEDICINE / VETERINARY MEDICINE!!

study ...study...study...study....
understanding!!!!!!

energy!!

don't stop!!!
keep going...
believe that i can do it!!
although i got bad results in previous exams
but if i work hard...
write everything that i understood
and related to questions..
i think i can score high marks!!

don't stop!!
keep going...
believe that i can do it!!
keep the dreams and move forward to it!!

remember that:
champions aren't made in gyms.
champions are made from something they have deep inside them
A DESIRE, A DREAM AND A VISSION!!

i knew that a lot of things i need to learn
i knew that everything is challenging
i knew that there is not easy to success
i knew that my future has a long way to go
i knew that i need to appreciate what i got right now
i knew that my dreams are difficult to achieve

BUT I KNEW THAT EVERYTHING HAS CHANCES
CHANCE TO APPLY
CHANCE TO GET
CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE
CHANCE TO SUCCESS!!

this is tang jia ruey!!
i have to get what i want!!
don't do something will make me regret!

i knew it is very important for my life
this is life!!
enjoy it!!
good luck guys!!=)

ohhhhh!!!!!!!!

this time gone!!!

damage!!!!!

cham cham cham!!!!

just now i got some information from college's counselor!!

it is about University of UTRECHT!!

this time die!!

if i study hard from now...can ????

can i do it????very very very very hard!!!!

1st: they accept A-level..and not SAM!!

2nd: i need IELTS!!

3rd: i can try to appl...if my result 90 and above!!

but i waste many marks at SEM1 !!

and internal asssessment!!

4th: interview!!

5th: i wan to go!!!!i hope to go!!!!!!!

90% 90% 90% 90% 90% 90% 90% 90% 90%

i need to do something for my future...

god bless me..a mi tuo fo!!

受伤

心灵受伤了
朋友伤得好重
可是却不能表露出来
他们说的其实都很对
那些其实我自己都有发现到
只是不敢面对而已

我不完美的地方真的很多
也就是说缺点很多
我只能说能改的，我会努力改
不能改的，保留～
它会变成我的特征=)

很难过
如果我突然改变
你们又会说我什么呢？
或许我该改变了
现在也没时间跟你们一起疯
现在一心只想把所有东西弄好
学我该学的东西
考好成绩
然后可以到我想去的地方
读想读的课程

相处的这一年，真的很开心
刚开始，你们的现实让我无法接受
现在能接受了
心脏的保护膜因为你们也变得更厚了
我们之间有愉快的，有伤心的
可是这些都会变成我的回忆
最珍贵的回忆
谢谢你们

study

from now...
i have to say bye bye to facebook
and my lovely friends..
i want to concentrate on my study
to achieve my dreams..(medicine, veterinary)
& Netherland!!
UNIVERSITY OF UTRECHT!!
i love that place..
goal: ATAR 85 and above!!
Biology 81
Chemistry 81
Mathematics 81
English as Second Language 81
Physics 81

these are the minimum marks for every subjects!!
i have to work harder!!!
Jia Ruey ..you can do it!!
Fight for dreams!!!Fight for Netherland!!

断了线的风筝

现在的我
有了目标
却不懂得努力
感觉我就像断了线的风筝

我需要那个能牵我回来的那个人
可是他不在了
或许也根本没有这个人
现在的我..在盼望
有那么一个吧

去荷兰读书的梦想
能不能成功
谁懂?没有人
我在这...
希望我能

或许我只能说
一切都会有挫折
只是看怎么面对
怎么解决而已

谢谢！！

感恩你们
谢谢你们在我低潮的时候陪伴着我
那可怕的阶段简直让我不敢再回想
你们拯救了我=)

诗晴谢谢你
我的低潮好长一段时期
从一开始你就陪我到现在
我真的不知道要怎样感谢你
你帮助我好多
感觉你比我还成熟...
我汗= =''

fong shelhiel 谢谢你！！
super gila & super 自恋
跟你有聊不完的东西
从两年前就这样
可能是我们太像了
心格上，我们有同样的思维
我汗= =''

lee joee 谢谢你！！
每天在班上陪我
听我的故事
在你面前哭
发泄一切后
轻松了不少
谢谢！！

wen jun 谢谢你！！
知道你要离开了
你也很无奈地扮演我老婆的角色
真的谢谢你！！
你对我很好，一直都是
真的舍不得你的离开

joane 谢谢你！！
你教我好多东西
你教我怎么去珍惜一个人
是我之前放弃我最爱的
是你教我的
我们闹到很不愉快
但我还是要谢谢你

dad and mum 谢谢你们
在这时候带我去kl
marathon 真的很好玩
我看到不一样的城市
心情也放松好多

G8 & 5.0 谢谢你们
因为你们，我不会感到寂寞
看到你们我很开心
可以像疯人一样地玩闹
你们真的好棒！！
我爱你们！！

目标目标： IMU, University of Utrecht!!!!!
ATAR: 86 and above!!

他

前几天都在kl住
到处都是他的身影
在我要忘记他的时候
到处都是他的身影

梦里也见到他
他信息我
可是现实中他并没有

搭地铁上课
我就在想，他会陪我吧
在被打到眼睛的时候
他很很生气吧

LRT站的时候，我们坐在地上拍照
midvalley...twins tower..
我才发现到我好想你

这些你应该不会知道吧
因为我已经是过去的那个

what the hell

my life transformed yesterday....what the hell going on?
i kicked somebody out from my life....
i will not cry for him, angry with him and do stupid thing for him anymore
he got his own life...
he is not mine...
but i love him..[should i use past tense??.....(thinking)]

i got my future...with sun shine...
with all my lovely friends...from malaysia, australia, vietnam, china, taiwan, thailand....
i haven't achieved my target!!
i got many things to do...
i think it may be a good thing if im single....
i have not enough time to care other things....

i'll do my best...wohooo!!!

弟子规

昨天发生了好多事
从一大早就开始了
跟佐安吵架，我们都在为自己辩护
一个人在冷清清的图书馆
感觉做什么都怪怪的
就决定回家

原以为会在那里吃午餐
可是我还是决定买面包就回家
一面啃面包，一面驾车，一面害怕警察来抓我

到家，除了做我presentation的东西
我什么也没做
陈佳芮在浪费时间

晚上george叫我看一个视频
关于弟子规的视频
说着一个22岁男生的故事
我现在才发现
来到这里后
我一直跟着名牌的脚步
我要跟他们一样赶潮流
我花了多少钱在那里
我不知道

那些钱是爸爸工作辛苦出来的钱
因为我，他更努力地工作
原本爸爸已计划退休
因为我，他必须工作
而我，却不珍惜他给我的一切
对不起

一个人其实很简单
每餐可以吃得很简单
每餐都可以喝白开水
可是为什么我们选择大鱼大肉
这不是在加重我们身体的负担吗？

我想我该学弟子规了
来到这里的我
已经不是那个简单的我
现在的我让我觉得我很龌龊
没有内涵
学习弟子规是好事

方向

往好的方面想
一切都会变好

从开学到现在
都感觉很累
是因为自己造成的压力
我现在学着开心
寻找学习的方向
很多方向还在等待我去寻找

他们的压迫让我感到很无奈
可是自知自己成绩不好
又要从中站起来
要比其他人更努力
可是我怕
佳芮现在比之前失去梦想更可怕

我可以做到我要做到的！！

真正的陈佳芮在哪？

陈佳芮已经失去自我了
我的累已经不是来自休息不够
还是什么
而是来自心理
从开学前我害怕面对
来到这里后或许这成了无形中的压力
第一天不说话
第2，3，4感到很累
该怎么办？

虽然每天很专心听课
功课也准时教上
可是真的很累
我找不到那个开心的自己
之前即使每天都在哭
可是还是有那个心情学习
现在的我感觉头脑在罢工
似乎装了很多东西
可是里面什么都没有

怎么办？
谢谢诗晴点醒我
不然我还在困惑中

成功

有一天 陈佳芮会成功的！

sem 2

还是没改变

坚持在这里用华语

六个月过去了，怎么过我也不知道

真的是傻乎乎过的

接下来的五个月我要怎么过？

拼了老命过？

可是我会觉得我撑不过吧

把自己不足的都要补足

唉~给自己太大的压力也不行吧

接下来的难关谁陪我度过

我的眼泪在sem1时都流干了吧

大家都把期望放在我身上

医生/兽医

都是强科吧

说实在的...我一点也不强~

面对这些强科我真的应付得来么？

我觉得我并不够努力

我知道我的实力在哪

可是我真的还必须加把劲！！！

佳芮！！丧气的话讲到这里就够了

接下来！！加油！！！！！！！！

不管面对什么难题都要勇于面对！！

just a dream

someone impossible...
he loves me...i love him too...
we got a baby girl...
he protects me...he gives me what i need...
but all in my dream..

小说

接下来会有最忙碌的一星期
就是考试
过后我就有轻松的两个星期
我决定用那两个星期写下我的故事和写歌
那个故事原本是很简单的，演变成越来越复杂
原本简简单单的两个人
在出现小三后，所有都改变了
变得越来越夸张
就像偶像剧那样
原以为不可能发生在这世上的东西
现在却发生在我身上

累

想家了
虽然还有两星期就可以回家了......

每天都看着美丽的日出
早上, 上课...到了下课...再到了让人期待的放学
可是到那时候已经差不多到了日落的时间了
一天就这样过去了

一个个星期过去了..
不知不觉来这里快半年了...时间根本不等人
而我..却感觉刚来这里不久而已
什么事情都很陌生

读书遇到了很多困难
一件一件过去了,可是新的一件一件又来
不会的东西堆积如山...学习速度根本就跟不上资料来的速度
新的东西来了,旧的却还不会
这时候真的很想休息,很想到处去

这里也像是我的家
可是还是不是我真正的家
累了....还是会找回那个原本的家

最近有一种什么都达不到的感觉
连要哭..都哽在喉咙哭不出
我怎么了我！！
是想家了吗

母亲节

今天和吧生一家族庆祝母亲节
我也只是当成吃顿饭
今天的菜色真的很丰富
一桌菜就一千块，还折扣了

到了最后一个环节
蛋糕来了，唱了世上只有妈妈好
他们就说每个小孩要给自己的妈妈一个抱抱
我就开玩笑地说我没有妈妈

我的妈妈在多于350公里以外的一个小市镇
妈妈和爸爸去了慈济浴佛节帮忙
想妈妈了啊！！
强忍着的眼泪
在看到妈妈的信息后，真的忍不住了

阿姨们都给我大大的拥抱
我还亲了二姨妈
可是这些都代替不了自己的妈妈
眼泪真的要掉下来了

第一年的母亲节没有跟妈妈过
之前都没有什么感觉
为什么吧生一家族那么会催泪》《
希望每一个妈妈都能幸福快乐
你们都是最棒的

haiz

这个blog给wenjun的

刚刚看过他的blog
就想写给他
让他慢慢translate
这是看不懂华语的后果^^

跟我同姓的陈wen jun!!
我知道你有你的烦恼
在各方面的烦恼
有时看你笑得很开心，可是都是在掩饰吧

你的blog有提到
如果你离开了，会如何
那我来告诉你
我和JOEE会拿刀到ipoh杀了你

你是一个很好的class rep
也是一个很好的朋友
我来taylor的第一个月
我快疯了！！
我什么都不懂
还好有你在
你帮我很多
不管在什么方面
真的谢谢你

如果你离开了
那我该怎么办？
我要找谁帮忙？
谁要教我数学？
谁会在我哭的时候打我
你对G8来说真的很重要

一起努力读书好不好？
我相信你能做到的

这是结局吗?

等待中，多希望这不是结局
可是却一直让自己接受这是结局
累了，就希望这些都是结局
可是心里还是会偷偷地在给自己希望

现在真的累了，这样就够了
不要再给自己希望，不要再等待下去了

什么都不是

是我一直自作多情
我原以为没事了
我再告诉你
我累了

面对太多挫败
再加上你
够我受了
我累了

我只是一个人
这些是我自找的
没关系
可是我真的累了

明天

明天25/3/11
要去约会
哈哈哈哈哈！！
出去玩~很爽~
嘻嘻嘻嘻！！
为了明天美美出街
现在在做mask= =
哈哈哈~
为了美什么都可以！！

洗头妹

今天当了的洗头妹~
因为丽齐的手指受伤不能洗头
害我想到以前帮哥哥们洗头的
有一点想回到过去

23/3/11

23/3/11
就是今天
一大早还很轻松地洗车
吃了面包，两粒鸡蛋，一碗虾面，鱼丸等
这是我的早餐+午餐

十二点了！！
感觉死期到了= =
出来成绩也没有我想像的差
都是B
呃...还有4A啦= ‘’ =

在哪一刻我的心是忐忑不安的
可是之后的心情都是平静的
没有在埋怨
也没有开心
一半一半吧

SPM算什么？
这不是结局
结局是未来
是我们的工作
我们的成就

朋友...看未来！

这是我

1.

爱音乐
爱音符
爱钢琴
爱唱歌
爱乱弹
爱乱唱

2.
爱艺术
爱美美的东西
爱可爱的东西
爱奇怪的东西
爱特别的东西

还有..
爱丑到可怕的东西

3.
爱动物
爱狗狗
爱狮子
爱猫猫
爱熊猫
爱猴子

还有一个..
我碰不到他的头的..
长颈鹿

4.
爱买鞋
高跟鞋
平底鞋
帆布鞋
运动鞋
拖鞋

这算是一个怪癖吗?

5.
糊涂的我
明明会走的路
结果走错
迷路了

去shopping
忘了怎么回car park
去到了car park
忘了我车放哪了
结果我跑car park找车

这个!!

这个忘了po~
我今天买了人生中的第二双高跟鞋!!
很高很高..可是没有lady gaga的高~

明天...23/3/11

明天spm成绩出来了
我的心情很平静
没有太大的期待
一切的压力来来自外界
他们比我更在乎我的成绩
我知道我不敢面对我或许会失败的成绩
但我更加不想去参与那份紧张

只是平静接受这一切
无论是好是坏
又上天决定 m

好久没写了呢

这几年发生了很多事情～
在中学的生活..多姿多彩～
忙比赛..忙抄功课...忙考试～
最后一天上课～
看着最后一天的风景～
从班上看出去的太阳..树..建筑物等
哭着分开
到spm考试～
考完试..去旅行~然后再分开
现在在taylor读书～
住在吧生..每天开车去学校~
怎么感觉这些都好像排好了的?
那么以后我的生活又是怎样的呢??